A Bad Case of Cliché
by Miss. Jenetari
Summary: [formerly irrational, nonsensical, infatuation] A collection of stories celebrating the wonderful plots and definitely not overused storylines that are in 99.9 percent of stories. Beware of fainting, Harry Potter, and 'romance'. A whole of it.
1. Totally Meant to Be

**Title:** irrational, nonsensical, infatuation.  
**Summary: **Warning: We at fanfiction dot net do not take any responsibility if you are stabbed with a spork, faint several times, die, get drunk, attacked by rabid fans, or launch into hyperactive snorts. Read at your own risk.  
**Pairing(s):** Mostly RaiKim, but any pairing really.   
**Disclaimer(s):** Don't own XS. Never will.  
**Notes: **A story inspired by a long, lengthy, and interesting conversation with various authors in the forums.

irrational, nonsensical, infatuation.  
_By Miss. Jenetari. _

_Beta Reader: sentimentalvalue._

_---_

**Chapter One:** Totally meant to be.

**Infatuation One: **Rai and Kim are together already, or even worse, they re-write the first episode and they fall madly in love. Not only that but all raikim stories seem to be too OOC. Not only that but I've seen some "hard-core-shippers" that actually threaten and bribe the author to make it a raikim or something like that. And not only that, but it seems to me that once those fans get the idea in their head that they made a good couple, the idea just grows until becoming an obsession, making them those hard-core fans. And the idea keeps growing until they've literally convinced themselves that they are meant for each other and all that crap. _–Sentimentalvalue_

---

Rai walked randomly towards this pretty girl who was actually the only girl there but that's beside the point. "Hey," he said in this dashing, charming wonderful excellent manly voice.

"Hi," replied Kimiko, blinking her eyelashes so fast the animators had trouble animating it. She swished her long, perfect black hair just like on the Pantene ads, and acted pretty. _Wow, he's hot_, she thought. _I'm like, totally in love with him._ "I'm Kimiko. What's your name?"

"Raimundo," said Rai, in a husky Brazilian accent that made all the girls faint in love. "But you can call me Rai. Let's make out."

So Rai and Kim made out, pashed, hooked up, kissed, stuck tongues in places they shouldn't have, made love, French kissed, did things passionately, and how could you think I looked in the thesaurus you freak!

"I love you," breathed Rai handsomely even though that is not humanly possible.

"I love you too, let's get married."

And they will get married because they are meant to be, and you should not question the way of love. LOVE CONQUERS ALL YOU IDIOTS AND IF YOU HATE RAIKIM THEN YOU SHOULD DIIIIIIEEEEE! FEEL THE WRATH OF MY SPORK!

Now, just to prove that he is hot and that I, the pretty stunning authoress, is totally in love with him SO HE'S MINE SO HANDS OFF BUT HE ALSO BELONGS TO KIM, let me describe his cartoonic body. The dragon of very awesome wind and who was more popular and handsome than everyone else stood up. The sunlight beamed onto said dragon, the light catching on his very brilliant vivid green eyes. The sun kissed his already sun-kissed skin, and a gentle breeze ruffled his auburn hair. Ripping off his shirt, he shouted "I HAVE ABS AND SIX PACKS AND I ARE HAWT. DON'T YOU FORGET IT!" And no one will ever forget it and the girls fainted again.

Kimiko sighed, sick with love and did stuff with him on a bed that magically poofed into existence that I am not comfortable writing about.

After they finished, they walked to some place where everyone else was. No one noticed what they did because they were meant to be, and that should not be questioned because it is the meaning of life. Then they were like, 'Wassup dudes, yo." And they were kind of sweaty, but it suited Rai because he's good at EVERYTHING. And they are totally not OOC how could you think such a thing!

Everyone worshiped the ground they walked to, because they were just so good looking and better than any other cartoon character in the world.

"Hey honey," said Rai randomly, half closing his eyes and being sexier and hot cartoonly/humanly possible.

"Hey darling." Said Kim, and sauntered on a random catwalk that appeared magically because that is called the power of love. The love fairy thing waved its wand and she was dressed into a disturbingly small bikini, and let everyone but mostly Rai adore her curves. She was perfect in every way, with eyes as blue as the sky and skin pale and stuff. She had black hair and red lipstick and made all the boys AND girls swoon.

Then Rai ripped his shirt off even though he already did but that's not the point, and walked on the catwalk too. Then he knelt down in stuck the most beautiful red rose in his mouth and the thorns didn't hurt him because he's just too HOT. Kim gasped because he was just totally sexy and hot and cool and awesome and manly and he had ABS AND SIX PACKS. And a six pack of beer no WINE suddenly appeared just in case anyone wanted some, and it just PROVES that the power of RaiKim conquers all.

"Kim," Rai said romantically, bringing out the most beautiful blue colored velvet box out of nowhere. "Will you marry me?" Then he flipped the case open and the most beautiful, stunning, elegant, wonderful ring was revealed. It had a gazillion karat diamond on it.

"Of course Rai," said Kim and she put it on, and blushed. AND the ring wasn't too heavy for her, because Rai knows everything. And did I mention he's like, totally hot?

Suddenly, they appeared in the best church in the world and it was happy sunshiny day with birds chirping beautiful songs, and some best orchestra in the world was there doing orchestra stuff, and all the A-list Hollywood acting people were there being cool, and so were the cool singing people, INCLUDING THE DEAD ONES.

Kim walked down the aisle in the most stunning beautiful elegant expensive white wedding dress with a tiara on. It was designed by all the best designer people in the world, and it was the most expensive dress too. Rai grinned handsomely in his very expensive, original and one-of-a-kind black tux and looked totally hot.

Then the priest person said some stuffs and then they kissed and were married and loved happily ever after even though they are like only thirteen or something and are not allowed to get married but it's MY story so shuddup. THE END!

…

Uhh… what about the Shen-Gong-Wu?

_-fin._

_---_

_Before you start screaming 'HOW DARE YOU HATE RAIKIM' let me say something. I like RaixKim. Now shoo. XD_

_Thanks to SV my beta-reader, who put up with several somewhat confusing emails!_

_And if you want to flame me, at least have to decency to flame me with your penname visible, and make it somewhat constructive._

_Other than that, review, and I'll shower you with love, rings, and sun-kissed tomatoes! 3_


	2. And then they all died

_Aww, thanks for the reviews guys! Remember – RAIKIM 4EVAAAH!_

_ALSO thank you to my excellent wonderful Beta-reader, SV! 3_

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**Chapter Two:** And then they all died.

**Infatuation Two: **"And then there are the ones where Jack loves Kim and Kim loves Jack, and Rai is totally jealous, so then Kim is torn between the two, or something. And after that, there are OCs which turn up and Rai totally falls in love with that OC which sometimes - more often than not - resembles the author - usually a girl - and the two live happily ever after because Kim and stuff just die, or something. o-o" –_Miss. Jenetari_

---

It was a very nice excellent sunshiny day.

Kim was skipping along some random patch of grass picking daisies and buttercups and sticking them into her perfect black hair, when she saw him.

Jack.

Instead of a scowl etching into her face, she suddenly felt very light-headed and broke out into girlish giggles which was very un-Kimiko like, but since when had the world started making sense?

The wind played with his reddish orange hair, and suddenly a beam of heavenly light surrounded him, giving him the appearance of an angel. A clownish angel. He even had robotic wings and a halo to match his costume!111

"Jack!" She said in a beautiful love struck voice instead of kicking him all the way to China. Unless they're already in China. Then… er, let's just say that instead of kicking him a long way away from wherever they are.

"Kim!" Said Jack in a sing song voice and they ran to each other in slow motion with cheesy and overused music going on in the background and embraced each other in open arms.

"I love you," They both breathed at the same time and kissed and all the crap. I mean, kissed and all that… awesome stuff. Ahem.

Then suddenly out of nowhere, Rai came walking by with his sexy abs and six pack and saw them pashing. "OhMyGOD!" he yelled. "How could you Kim?" And he got teary eyed but in a good way because Rai can NEVER be imperfect. If you say that one more time, I'll kill you with a pizza! "I… I thought we had something special!" And he started sobbing, and they DID have something special because RAIKIM 4EVAHH!

The two lovebirds pulled away and Kim gasped because she made Rai cry! HOW DARE YOU! I KILL U STOOPID KIM POOP AND UR DUM STUFF U FINK U SO KEWL BUT U SLUT AND U BIT—

Umm, anyways, she ran to Rai and started making out with him, but then Jack started crying too.

"Kim!" He whined in his oh so whiny voice. "I thought you loved ME!" And the tears started falling freely because EVERYONE loves sensitive boys –cough hack- and his clown like make-up got all smudged. Oh no! How DARE U MAKE JAK CWY? U SUCH A SLUT DAUTER OF A BAS-

Er, -cough- as I was saying, I mean, er, writing, Kim was torn apart. Which to love? Rai or Jack? They were both very sexy and hot in different ways, and she liked hooking up with them both, AND she was like, the only girl on the show! Apart from all the other girls! Because they don't count!

"Hmm," She said thoughtfully, and sat on a very comfy armchair that conveniently happened to be there even though they were in the middle of a field. Or meadow. And she thought and thought and thought for a very long time and then wondered if she could borrow Steve's – not JOE because I don't like JOE – thinking chair! Because it's always time to sit in our… THINKING CHAIR! Because it helps you think, duh.

"I know!" She said brightly, standing up from her non-thinking chair. "I'll love you both!" And everyone was happy and threw confetti in the air and all the environmentalists screamed about the ozone layer and littering and other boring non RAIKIM stuff, so everyone fell asleep.

But then they woke up again when she pashed them both at the same time so they were like a threesome! And she could do it because love is very awesome like that and IT'S A CARTOON SO THEY CAN DO THAT KIND OF STUFF!

Then suddenly out of nowhere, an OC that was SO not a Mary sue so how could you think of something so ABSURD like that started sauntering towards the threesome. She was thin enough to be anorexic, pale as… something very pale, with big blue eyes and long curly blonde hair. She was wearing a pink super short mini skirt and a very, very, very, very, very, super, super, super, super, small barely covering pink bikini top which showed off her flat stomach and curves and other girly/feminine stuff.

"Hey," She said in this perfect girly voice and flicked her hair back. Did I mention she had long eyelashes? "My name is Mary-Kate Ashley Olson Sabrina Stephanie Rose Tiffany Angelina Katharine Kathy Kelly Sarah Jessica Parker Alexandra Fairy Princess Gold Silver Jewels Happy Garnet Ruby Diamond Emerald Opal Magical Perfection Definitely not a Mary-Sue Pitt." She said blinking very fast. She was even more hot and sexy than RAI! IF THAT IS POSSIBLE!111shift+1

And Rai stopped pashing Kim and ran towards Mary-Kate Ashley Olson Sabrina Stephanie Rose Tiffany Angelina Katharine Kathy Kelly Sarah Jessica Parker Alexandra Fairy Princess Gold Silver Jewels Happy Garnet Ruby Diamond Emerald Opal Magical Perfection Definitely not a Mary-Sue Pitt. "Let's make out!" He said in this sexy voice and they did and they were like a perfect couple. Totally.

"Mary-Kate Ashley Olson Sabrina Stephanie Rose Tiffany Angelina Katharine Kathy Kelly Sarah Jessica Parker Alexandra Fairy Princess Gold Silver Jewels Happy Garnet Ruby Diamond Emerald Opal Magical Perfection Definitely not a Mary-Sue Pitt?" sighed Rai.

"Yes Rai?" answered Mary-Kate Ashley Olson Sabrina Stephanie Rose Tiffany Angelina Katharine Kathy Kelly Sarah Jessica Parker Alexandra Fairy Princess Gold Silver Jewels Happy Garnet Ruby Diamond Emerald Opal Magical Perfection Definitely not a Mary-Sue Pitt, swishing her perfect untangled curly blonde hair over her shoulder.

"I love you."

Mary-Kate Ashley Olson Sabrina Stephanie Rose Tiffany Angelina Katharine Kathy Kelly Sarah Jessica Parker Alexandra Fairy Princess Gold Silver Jewels Happy Garnet Ruby Diamond Emerald Opal Magical Perfection Definitely not a Mary-Sue Pitt gasped. "I love you too."

Then they married and had kids and lived happily ever after because Kim and stuff just… died or something.

END!

_-fin._

---

**_DISCLAIMER:_**_ The almighty thinking chair belongs to Blue's Clues. _

_Anyway, a dollar goes to anyone who can memorize Mary-Kate Ashley Olson Sabrina Stephanie Rose Tiffany Angelina Katharine Kathy Kelly Sarah Jessica Parker Alexandra Fairy Princess Gold Silver Jewels Happy Garnet Ruby Diamond Emerald Opal Magical Perfection Definitely not a Mary-Sue Pitt's name! x3_

_Reviewers showered with flowers, clown make-up, and CDs. _


	3. Clash of the TV shows

_Thanks for waiting guys for this. I appreciate all your reviews and support, and especially, SV's patience. _

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**Chapter Three:** Clash of the TV shows

**Infatuation Three: **"And when you think you've had enough, suddenly, Chase or -insertsomeboyhere- appears, and decides, 'Hey, I'm gonnah be totally like a hypocrite, and love Raimundo now.' And the two fall madly in love even though the two haven't spoken (or so I know). And when he's done with that, Rai just goes around and basically falls in love with every character in the show, plus some others in some other show, like... Card Captor Sakura. x-x

So really, to put it bluntly, Rai sure gets around. " –_Miss. Jenetari_

---

Once upon a time there was a very hawt cartoon character called Rai. Actually his name was Raimundo Pedrosa, but everyone calls him Rai because he's just so hawt. Yah. Totally.

Now, anyway, see, Rai was just too hawt. I mean, whenever girls approached him they actually started sweating. Yah. Sweating. A very unhawt and smelly thing to do.

So naturally, every female cartoon and anime character in the entire cartoon and anime universe fell in love with him. They all blushed when he walked by them, giggled when he talked to them, and fainted when he kissed them. Even some of the boys loved him, but they were quickly killed in a rampage by rabid fan girls when they tried to get a goodnight kiss too.

But Rai was nice. I mean, really nice, in a hawt way. He didn't want to break any hearts, so he decided that he would date, kiss, and love every single female character, so that the uglier and less attractive girls wouldn't miss out.

He started with Kimiko first, surprise surprise. He took her out to a candle-lit dinner, smiled at her, and the like. Her joy was short lasted, because she promptly fainted when he kissed her goodnight, leaving a confused Rai who had spent ten dollars on roses for nothing.

Wuya was a bit more difficult. She was transparent and simply floated through him when he tried to touch her. Sighing, he had to wait impatiently while Wuya ran off for a couple of years to restore herself to her human form. When she finally managed to become solid, Chase Young got jealous and trapped her back in the puzzle box and flushed it down the toilet.

He then approached Rai and tied him up above a pot of molten lava, and Rai was forced kiss him too.

When he was let go, he decided he needed to be a bit quicker if he wanted to go through all the girls. Katnappe smelt too much of cats for him to really enjoy it, so that was quick. Jack dressed up as a girl and attempted to make out with him, but unfortunately, he missed his mouth and resulted in a rather angry Rai, complaining how 'Jackerina' was such a bad kisser.

Finishing the girls in Xiaolin Showdown, he skipped towards the Card Captor Sakura universe. Sakura blushed so red it looked like she'd explode. Syaoran, however, who was trained under heavy conditions did not fall for Rai's spell. Instead, he swore loudly and threatened to kill him if he didn't get his lips off his girlfriend.

When Rai started hunting for the other girls in Card Captor Sakura, he realized he'd have to be quick because Syaoran hadn't totally forgiven him. It resulted in a wild cat and mouse chase, until Syaoran was destroyed in a sea of fan girls.

Wiping his forehead in relief, he jumped on a plane to Teen Titans. Unfortunately, they were busy fighting Overload, and as two members of their team fell for Rai's charms and stopped fighting, Overload swallowed up Robin, Beast Boy, and Cyborg. When Rai had finished with Raven and Starfire, Overload bent over and tried to give Rai a kiss too, except Rai ran away because Overload with fry him with his electricness. Robin was devastated when Starfire no longer liked him, and Raven exploded because all her emotions were not under her usual control.

Next he did the world of Naruto. He headed over to Sakura, who instantly fell in love with him. This was probably not the best thing to do. Naruto and Rock Lee were immediately jealous, and Sasuke, who noticed that Sakura was no longer swooning over him, got jealous too.

Naruto performed his _Kage bunshin no jutsu _and let the Nine-Tails Demon Fox's chakra merge with his own and Sasuke revealed his _Sharingan_ and let the curse seal activate and became the most evil he could possibly become. The two started beating up Rai with all their strength, and finally, Rock Lee towered over the shaking and badly beaten Rai scared him off to the X-Men region with his thick eyebrows and lower eyelashes.

Kitty accidentally phased through him, Rogue nearly knocked him unconscious, Jean lifted them up high and he banged his head on the ceiling, Storm started crackling with electricity when he touched her, and Mystique started shape shifting so quickly into different forms he backed away and fell in a portal to Harry Potter Land.

Harry Potter? He thought confusedly. He had only planned to go to the anime/cartoon universe. But then he saw something, something worse than you-know-who, worse than Chase Young and Wuya, worse than all the Clow cards merged into one, worse than Slade, Overload, Cinderblock, and Plasmas, even worse than Sasuke and Naruto when they went agro.

_Fan girls._

They had been giggling with Harry and Draco, when suddenly they saw Rai pop out of no where. Screaming they all made a lunge for him, pens, bits of paper and lipstick tubes in their hands.

"ARGGGHH!" He yelled in pain as his hair was pulled, his mouth was kissed, his clothes adored, and his element being played around with.

Harry and Draco stared at each other. Harry, feeling the need to be the hero again raised his wand. Draco raised his wand too, but that was because Harry lifted his arm up.

Before Draco could ask what Harry was doing, Harry yelled out, "FANGIRLAWAYPIZZAMARSHMALLOWJUNGLEPOOPAMAJIGIMOBOBTHEBUILDER!"

Draco gasped. He was using the worst spell of all time – even you-know-who didn't dare to use it! It was even worse too, because Harry had used both their wands. They both winced as jets of rainbow colored light began zooming to the fan girls.

They screamed and jumped away, revealing Rai who was curled up in a ball on the floor, wincing. Noticing the sudden silence, he blinked and sat up-

"NOOOO!" Everyone but Rai screamed.

The spell hit Rai right in the chest and exploded into little rainbow colored bits. A poof of white cloud surrounded him as Rai yelled out.

There was silence as the smoke cleared and…

It couldn't be true.

Was Raimundo Pedrosa finally defeated?

As he stood up everyone had the shield their eyes. Rai blinked sleepily and frowned slightly. "What happened to m-"

A brave fan girl squeezed her eyes shut and handed him her compact mirror. She was later awarded a medal, a trophy and a gazillion dollars for her act of bravery.

Rai flipped the compact mirror open.

He gasped.

He couldn't believe it.

He was… _ugly._

"Why me?" He screamed, then exploded and died.

**-END**

---

_**DISCLAIMER: **Card Captor Sakura, Naruto, Teen Titans, X-Men: Evolution, and Harry Potter all belong to whoever they belong to. Basically, I don't own them, 'kay?_

_You might not watch the shows I mentioned, so to save me from a long explanation of what chakra or Clow cards are, think of this: __They all have magical powers._

_If you really want to know, send me an email, ask me in reviews, check out the anime websites, or watch the shows. Simple as that. ;D_

_Reviewers showered of wands, trophies, and roses._


	4. woe is me

_I_

_I apologize PROFOUSLY for lack of updates on this one. Errrrk. o-o;_

_My idea for this fic has sort of turned, but it still remains to mock other over used fics. I won't re-write or delete any chapters because I think some people enjoyed them, even if they were kind of weird. _

_I've realized that a lot of the 'trends' that sv and I thought of were rather similar, so I'll just use whatever pops up in my head._

_THANK YOU for those loyal, non-killing reviewers/readers I still managed to keep. Meep. _

_(I also realize I've been neglecting Omi and Clay and all that, but this idea was too tempting to resist. Eventually, I promise.)_

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**Chapter Four:** Woe is Me

**Trend Four: **Just think emo, suicidalness, romance, raixkim, angstness, and vague description.

**Summary: **Rai is depressed can someone namely Kim help him before it's too late?!?!?!!111   
Set post-whenraibetraysthetemple because that's where all the angst fics are set, dammit.

_---_

He waited until everything was silent before creeping out of his sorry excuse of a room and outside in the conveniently pouring rain.

He was chilled to the bone immediately, the rain seeping through his worn clothes and plastering his brown hair over his brilliant green eyes. The wind was fierce and sharp, cutting his numb cheek. If anything, it made him even more depressed. His own element turned against him. THE WORLD HATED HIM.

He was silent while he stood there, the rain mingling with his salty tears. He didn't know how long he stood there, torturing himself in the cold, dark, haunting, freezing, bitter, sad, depressing, melancholy, grey, gray, black, white, chilling, angstlike weather while he thought about his cold, dark, haunting, freezing, bitter, sad, depressing, melancholy, grey, gray, black, white, chilling, angstlike past.

Shortly after he had rejoined the temple, the others had given him the cold shoulder. Fierce glares, sarcastic comments, mistrust clouding in their non-green eyes. He had put up with ten whole minutes– it was his fault – but enough had been enough. They numbed him down to nothing, and he just needed to _feel. _Y'know, even though they didn't treat him like that in the show, and the show is _canon_, dammit.

He needed to feel wanted.

Shivering, he flicked open a penknife from nowhere and rolled his sleeves up. There were a million cuts on his arms which he kept hidden because he didn't want attention even though he had just stated in his mind he wanted attention at the first place. If she had given him some of her attention, maybe he could bear it. He loved her with all his heart yet she only had eyes for his betrayal.

He cut himself even more, blood trickling down his arm but for some reason he kept doing it. Maybe because he's a lunatic.

After a while he stopped, rubbing his thumb across the blade. He had left a note for them, laid on top of his pillow even though they probably wouldn't' even care. The brunette shivered and slowly flipped the blade so that it pointed to his heart. His lonely thudding, emo heart.

_Dear Kimiko,_

_I've decided life is not worth living anymore. Don't blame yourself, but I just wanted to tell you know I loved you with all my pitiful heart. I love you Kimiko so much. Your eyes, your hair, your skin, your nose, your eyelashes, your hair, your teeth, the food in your teeth, that wart on your foot, every blood cell, your dandruff…._

_I've never felt the same about anyone else before. You are so beautiful. An angel._

_Angst… crimson… love… blood…_

_Toodles,_   
_Raimundo_

Would they care if they left? Would they remember his name?

"Rai?"

He whipped around, the nick of the blade catching on his clothes. But he only had eyes for her.

She was staring at him wide-eyed, blue eyes caught alight like fire. She was beautiful, as always, with her raven-black hair cascading down her shoulders like that, her slender frame and soulful eyes. So… angelic. His heart pounded against his chest. In her hand was the note he had left her. His ohso poetic note. "Rai, what are you doing?"

"What do you care?" He half yelled. He was sobbing hysterically now. "Just go away and let me commit my suicide in peace."

She was crying now too, and he felt so bad for hurting his one and only even though eh was only like… twelve. Or something. "Rai," she whispered, shaking and dropping his note. "The note was so romantic… why would I not care?"

"You hate me!" he sobbed, trembling. "Even though I loved you with all my heart, and there would be no one other than you, you failed to notice me. You hate me like all the others, after I came back. Do you know why I went to Wuya in the first place?"

Numbly, she shook her head.

"You," he whispered, falling to his knees. "I wanted to impress you so muc-"

She silenced him with a deep kiss, her arms snaking around his neck. He was shocked, and so am I – she hated him like fifteen minutes ago, and now she was making out with him? But he returned the kiss with as much passion, pouring his soul and heart…

When they pulled away they were out of breath. "Rai," she whispered. "I could never hate you. I love you." Y'know, even after all the bad treatment, love still prevails. Ne, so cheesy.

"I love you too," he whispered, repeating himself for the even though he had been declaring/confessing it a while ago. And smiled non-emoly when he kissed her again under the suddenly appearing sun and bright light blue sky even though this is set in night.


End file.
